Goodnight Room

With one more final to go and sweet home Colorado on the horizon, I have begun the move-out-of-dorm-for-a-month and stuff-your-life-into-one-duffel-bag process−neither of which are as far along as I would hope by now. ohh well. What's college good for if not to test how well you work under pressure?

According to the purple "Before We Leave" notice stapled to my door, there are eight specific duties I must complete in order to collect the six chaos emeralds and defeat Dr. Robotnik once and for all...mwaa ha ha. Or to be able to go home without any fines...it just sounds a heck of a lot cooler in Sonic the Hedgehog video game terms.

1). "I have closed the blinds." Check

2). "I have turned off all the lights." Check. So far I am bulldozing through this checklist...I just can't help but think that this is a lot like how a football team begins its season by playing the really easy teams to build up their confidence so they think they will have a chance when they play the real competitors (like Texas), but then they still get their chalk rocked (KU) in the end.
Let's see just how rough this can get...

3). "I have removed everything that could be damaged from the floor." Shoes, Snoopy Sno-cone machine, massive diamond collection, ownership deeds for every Swiss bank. Ca-ching! I meant check.              

4). "I have unplugged every cord from each outlet." check. Don't even want to imagine the enormous amounts of phantom energy secreting through the wires every second for an entire month.

5). "I have taken everything I need with me." I hope so. It's not like I would even know if I had forgotten anything since you insist on making me do this in the dark (#2). Check

6). "I have removed my door tags and all papers taped on the outside of my door." Goodbye beautiful Sarah and Brionne turkeys. You had a good run...or should I say trot. Check.

7). "I have defrosted the fridge and given at least 12 hours for the process and it is clean and has been left open." And I don't think that run-on sentence was quite long enough. Hmm, let me just crack her open here...well hello! Ohhh dear. This may take longer than I thought. I can't believe we have to get rid of EVERYTHING. But rules are rules. As I toss one thing after another into the recycling-bin-we-converted-into-a-trash-can (ask Sarah), I can't

help but to feel like I am in the middle of Goodnight Moon: College Edition...."Goodnight Paul Newman raspberry vinaigrette dressing that never had the chance to invigorate my baby spring mix, goodnight cream cheese I neglected all semester, goodnight Land O'Lakes boyfriend butter (because it's whipped and ∴ we don't use it) , goodnight French's yellow mustard that would have been so good on . . . um . . . nothing, goodnight frozen Smart Ones Savory Steak and Ranch Grilled Flatbread who--wait a minute! You don't have to die just because of our rocky past and the fact that I will always loathe thee!" College is full of hungry kids and what better way to win them over? At that very moment, my neighbor raps on the door (he just uses us for our carpet floor). Unable to get rid of him, I open the door, throw the frozen food box at him with all my force, and slam it shut before he even utters the first few letters of "carpet." No. That was a lie. I let him in and upon realizing he was only here for one reason (imagine that!), offered him a Christmas blessing in the form of food and sent him home. Then, I finally lower the last fridge-dweller into the trash: "Goodnight breadsticks from Sarah's mom. We had big dreams for you." Feeling heartless and sad for all of the lost food potential, I made the walk of shame to the trash room at the end of my hall. I opened the door and thrust the bag over my head and into the dumpster with one big Check!

8). "I have locked the door." almost check. sniffle.

Goodbye Austin, Texas. It's been fun. I'll be seeing you in January.